Regards, Mother ~ by Brandyllyn

18 October 1991

Severus,

While the method you prescribed to cure my vegetation problem may in fact work, it requires getting within range of those many writhing tentacles your little pet has sprouted. Since I am reasonably sure that the darling little monster devoured Mrs Jenkins' cat yesterday (I am suspicious of its actions regarding the Hendricks' Augrey as well, there is a rather suspect amount of feathers visible within its demesne), you'll understand if I am hesitant to put myself into their reach. Perhaps, as the devoted son you claim to be, you could bestir yourself to visit the familial homestead and take care of the problem yourself.

I feel I should also point out that you seem to spend an inordinate amount of your time thinking about Mr. Potter; and no, for reasons that should be patently obvious, I shall not bow to your wish that he be referred to as 'That Boy Who Shall Not Be Named'. While righteous fury is all well and good, I believe that there are far healthier outlets for this anger of yours than a child who isn't possibly a match for you either physically or intellectually (Having never met Mr. Potter, I am reluctantly giving you the benefit of the doubt on intellectually). As a more acceptable manifestation of this rage, perhaps you should see whether that werewolf you knew is still skulking about. Surely he could offer you some of the comforting pain and humiliation you crave so much to give.

On that note, how is St Mungo's treating Rupert these days? Poor Gladys was positively devastated when he resigned his post as the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. I didn't have the heart to tell her the role you played in his retirement. As your mother, I feel it my duty to inform you that the correct pronunciation of the Butterfly Charm is 'ar-bo-NA-les-ta'. And may I note that your repeated protestations that you did not intend to loose the horde of wasps on the man would be far more believable if the two spells had even a passing resemblance to one another. Not to mention that the very image of you performing a Butterfly Charm is laughable.

Do try not to maim this year's pick, dear.

Regards,
Mother

P.S. You forgot your father's birthday. Again.

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