The Order Goes Loco ~ by EmBot

A/N: I've never written a Harry Potter fanfic before, but as I was sick, and high on meds, laughing at unfunny things while rereading the series for about the seventh time, I got some really strange ideas. (Just shows the power of medication) Some so strange, that they are probably an insult to the fans of Harry Potter, but what the hay? No one ever accused me of being sane...

Here I go...
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Chapter One: The King Has Returned
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The popular crowd of men from the Order of the Phoenix sat down in the living room. These men, predominantly single and/or old, most having no real apparent lives other than the Order, were, that day, having a heated debate.

"Well, if you want my opinion-" Alastor Moody started.

"We don't!" shouted Remus Lupin, rather uncharacteristically.

"Well..." Kingsley Shacklebolt grumbled, "In the words of the Spice Girls..."

"Will you shut up about the Spice Girls?" asked Bill Weasley, annoyed.

"All I was going to say was, 'If you wanna be my lover,'" Kingsley had started to sing, "'You gotta get-'"

"SHUT UP!" Remus Lupin screamed, covering his ears, "You sing horribly! Are you trying to deafen us?"

Dedalus Diggle, finding the situation highly entertaining started to talk loudly about 'an [object] that must have been stuck up Remus's [rear end]' when a figure appeared in the room. It was Sirius Black.

"Sirius!" Mundungus Fletcher said, awestruck, "You're an...an angel !"

Everyone eyed Fletcher disgustedly.

"Of course I'm not, you stupid git!" Sirius spat. "I'm alive!"

"It's a miracle!" Lupin said, his eyes tearing.

"WRONG!" Sirius shouted. "I was never DEAD! You idiots took me to be the wrong person! Ever wonder why they never caught Macnair?"

There was a strangely loud chorus of Oh's, Ah's, and Oops's.

"That's right! You left me there were I only narrowly escaped the ministry. I was lucky enough that Dumbledore happened to be there at the time."

"Hurrah!" the group shouted.

The day went on, and they sat in a circle, binging on sweets, and swapping manly stories. (Though the stories, to an outsider, would've seemed quite dull.) They told jokes, and played games. Overall, they didn't really do much of anything. Anything of importance , anyway. Soon they got into their usual telling of old school tales. Sirius was right in the middle of a rather hilarious one about him, Severus Snape, and a bag of sweets, when Snape appeared out of nowhere. Flustered, Sirius stopped immediately.

"Hello, Snivellus ."

"You're alive, Snape said with a look of extreme detest on his face, "that's unfortunate."

Sirius had stood up. Detecting a fight, and wanting to get out, Arthur Weasley said, "Well, I must be off. Glad to see you alive then, Sirius. Keep yourselves out of trouble," and disapparated.

Sirius and Severus were both eyeing each other menacingly so Kingsley did the first thing that came to mind.

"Come on, fudgums!"

"Fudgums?" Remus asked.

"Never you mind. We're going to...to...pick up some ladies?"

There was nothing to do but stare at Shacklebolt. Had he any idea what he had just suggested? Pick up ladies? What would Dumbledore say?

"Okay," Sirius siad, forgetting he was on run from the ministry, "let's go."

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A/N: I know I'm weird, and have strange ideas. No one has to tell me...
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