I dedicate this chapter to Kelly: The True Heir of Slytherin. (Har.)
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Except figuratively Snape, Lupin and Black are all mine. I do not own the fhqwhgads (which is pronounced fa-ho-wha-gods, or something along the lines of that). They belong to homestarrunner.com which has an excellent song called "Everybody to the Limit." I suggest you watch it. NOW on with the story. (Muahahaha) "Highway to Hell" belongs to AC/DC. The rainbows line comes from the song "Rainbow Connection."
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Chapter Two: Song and Dance
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The men walked down the road in two straight lines. The smallest one was Madeleine (aka Mundungus). (A/N: Sorry. That was pointless, but I had to do it.) It was dark outside. The muggles of London were starting to go to sleep, but the one's who were still awake were eyeing the traveling men very suspiciously. I mean, come on. Two straight lines, men in robes carrying wands, convicted murderer, the two men in tights dancing after them making music with their small flute like instruments...there were a lot of things wrong with that picture. Especially the tights...They had no idea where they were going, but they followed Kingsley. It had been his idea, after all. They walked another three blocks and did not stop, even when they heard a voice of a man sticking his head out the window and gesturing for them to come. He started chanting.
"Come on fhqwhgads."
No one said anything.
"I said , come on fhqwhgads!"
Remus looked up. "Everybody to the limit?
He nodded. "Everybody to the limit."
Remus headed towards the building and waved for the rest of the order.
"Everybody...come on fhqwhgads."
They walked inside. The space was dark, and cool, lit up with a few candles. It was all painted black and there were rows of chairs surrounding a proscenium stage. There was a woman onstage. The men of the order sat down anticipating what was to come. She stood up.
"Flowers.
Singing in the field."
She waved her arms.
"Flowers
Happy in the field."
She smiled.
"Flowers
Dying in the field."
She spun around in circles.
"Flowers. DEAD."
She crouched down on the floor. There was mild applause from everyone in the audience except for Severus Snape.
"What was that ?" he asked, looking indignant. "Untalented fools..."
The man from the window stood up on stage and told the audience that anyone who would like could now go up and share anything they wanted. Immediately Kingsley and Dedalus stood up. They walked onto the stage. Kingsley, front and center; Dedalus, sitting cross-legged in the corner, bongo drums on his lap.
Kingsley looked out into the audience.
"They think they know me.
Drumroll
But they don't.
They don't know me.
Don't know who I am, where I'm coming from. Nothing about me.
Drumroll.
How can they love me
Drumroll
If they don't even know me.
Drumroll
It's all lies
Emphatic Drumroll
But it's cool with me.
I go with the flow.
Drumroll
It's all good."
He took a bow and returned to his seat. The men of the order all clapped him on the shoulder and told him his work was very deep, and that '[they] were totally diggin' [him], man.' All except Snape, of course. He again muttered something under his breath. This time something about boredom. Then men all took they're turn, some acted, some sang, some danced. Bill Weasley did a wonderful jig with the two flutists in tights. After they had all gone, excepting Snape, he was still talking about how pathetic they all were.
"I don't see you getting up there Severus," shot Remus, who had just finished his song about rainbows. Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
"Yeah," said Sirius, who had tried to do comedy, but unfortunately it just didn't work out.
"You want me to get up there?" Snape asked menacingly. "Fine. I'll whoop all your tooshies."
Then he pointed at Bill, Sirus, Remus, and Alastor.
"I'll need you four."
They got onto the stage. Microphones, three guitars, and a set of drums had shown up along with music.
"Play it," Snape said, and stepped up to the michrophone.
As the intro started, the men knew they had truly been defeated. Not many knew that Severus Snape had an excellent singing voice. And he always had a knack for choosing the perfect songs for his... nature .
" Living easy, lovin' free
Season ticket on a one-way ride
Asking nothing, leave me be
Taking everything in my stride
Don't need reason, don't need rhyme
Ain't nothing I would rather do
Going down, party time
My friends are gonna be there too
I'm on the highway to hell!"
By this time, the once quiet room was filled with the screams and whoops of the audience who were loving every minute of the show. After all, who couldn't resist a little AC/DC? And it was being sung by a person who looked like Satan's minion nonetheless.
"No stop signs, speed limit
Nobody's gonna slow me down
Like a wheel, gonna spin it
Nobody's gonna mess me round
Hey Satan, payed my dues
Playing in a rocking band
Hey Momma, look at me
I'm on my way to the promised land
I'm on the highway to hell
(Don't stop me)"
The crowd went wild screaming for Severus Snape and his band of people who, of course, couldn't really even play the instruments that had been in front of him. After that performance, every lady in the building wanted to talk to Severus.
"Now that's just weird," Remus admitted.
"Never seen anything like it in my life," Sirius agreed.
Mundungus looked up. "'S'up wit that?"
"I personally hated the song," said Alastor Moody. They all just stared at him.
"Okay," he admitted. "It was slightly entertaining."
After this, the men decided to make Snape leave the only building in the world he had ever been popular in. There was a meeting tonight, anyhow. They had almost reached Grimmauld Place when the strangest thing happened. A teenage boy was dancing in the street with two groupies.
"Harry?" Sirius asked.
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