Notes From the Staff Room ~ by EmBot

Entry #1 : Jan. 24
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Albus Dumbledore

6:00 PM-Entered Staff Room. Is a rather large room with no windows to speak of and a lingering smell of tobacco. Funny. Did not think teachers were allowed to smoke. See teachers conducting normal daily activities. Have decided to observe mentor Albus Dumbledore.

6:05 PM- Have been watching Dumbledore. He seems to be hiding something from the rest of the staff. It looks to be a box that says something...can not figure out lettering. Must risk moving in closer in order to get a closer look.

6:06 PM- Interestingly enough, the box says pay increases...Dumbledore has set box on chair and left to sit with the rest of staff on couches. Must take a look. Can't help myself.

The list reads as follows:

Albus Dumbledore:

Headmaster

400,000 Galleons

Minerva McGonagall:

Deputy Headmistress, Transfiguration Professor

350,000 Galleons

Fineus (Have just noticed that half the people I know's names end with -us. Alb us , Rube us , Sever us , Rem us ...what's up with that, and why doesn't my name end with -us) Flitwick:

Charms Professor

350,000 Galleons

Sibyll Trelawney:

Resident Seer

300,000 Galleons

(Am very surprised that the old fraud actually gets almost the same amount on her paycheck as McGonagall.)

Severus Snape:

Potions Master

250,000 Galleons

(Had a good laugh at this one...whoops, Dumbledore is coming back)

6:10 PM-Dumbledore has sat down at table. Others follow. He puts yellow candy into his mouth, looks vaguely happy with flavor. Puts another in mouth. Speaks while annoyingly chewing on candy:

Dumbledore: We are gathered here today, to express our-

(Professors Sinistra and Vector enter the room giggling madly and gasping out the word "Sorry" they take seats on either side of Professor Snape, who is smirking slightly, still giggling)

Dumbledore: (smiles) Like I was saying, today we are going to express our feelings about the school. And I have some things I'd like to discuss with you, also.

(Most of the staff looks bored. Sinistra and Vector are flirting shamelessly with Snape, who doesn't seem to mind the attention.)

Dumbledore: So...the school...um...Minerva?

McGonagall: Fine. Absolutely perfect. Oh, except for the dementors, and Sirius Black and all that terror it's caused throughout the school, but other than that just fine.

Dumbledore: What about you, Severus?

Snape: What? I agree with Minerva?

(Vector passes something to Snape who snickers and passes it on to Sinistra who seems to have trouble suppressing giggles. Must get this. The older staff members glare and look angry. McGonagall gives a very obvious eye roll.)

McGonagall: Aren't you all a little old for note passing?

Vector: I don't know. Is there an age limit?

(Sinistra has to hide her face in order to suppress giggles)

McGonagall: Maybe you're just a little too juvenile for a staff meeting such as this one. The three of you should probably congregate in one of the common rooms next time. I assure you, you would fit in perfectly.

(Snape is smirking and Sinistra is still giggling, however, Vector stands up angrily)

Vector: You wanna start something, hag?

(most of staff room gasps. McGonagall stands up)

McGonagall: Maybe I do.

Dumbledore: Ladies, let's settle this in a-

Vector: Tomorrow. After Classes. Quidditch Field.

McGonagall: You're on.

(They sit back down. Dumbledore looks slightly flustered. He sticks another yellow candy into his mouth and chews on it annoyingly. I wonder what kind of candy it is...I need some of it...)

Dumbledore: Well...um...now that's-er... settled, we'll continue with business as usual. There's a matter of angry concerns being voiced from students in the potions classes.

(No one looks surprised. Dumbledore speaks on, nervously.)

Dumbledore: Well, Severus, you took 154.3 points from Gryffindor, 135.2 from Hufflepuff, 102.6 from Ravenclaw, and a whopping .5 from Slytherin yesterday.

(The teachers gasp angrily)

Snape: Well, I had to take points off of Crabbe for putting a first year in a chokehold. Sad, isn't it?

(Nearly all staff roll their eyes)

Dumbledore: You are taking too many points away from the other houses, Severus. I think we need to have a talk about this in my-

(Sinistra and Vector stand up angrily)

Sinistra: You can't seriously think of reprimanding him for taking points off students!

(Nearly all staff roll their eyes)

Dumbledore: Well, I-

Vector: I wouldn't try it, Dumbledore, or you'll have to answer to us.

(Dumbledore shifts unsomfortably and nods at them. So that's why Snape gets to keep his job...)

Dumbledore: Never mind...meeting adjourned.

7:15 PM- Have been watching Dumbledore and drawn these conclusions:

Dumbledore is an old man, who is always trying to make sure a mutiny doesn't arise. He has a strange predilection for Lemon Candies. Dumbledore is a nervous man and enjoys being left alone. He likes dancing to Latin Music.

This concludes Entry #1 of Jan. 24.

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