Notes From the Staff Room ~ by EmBot

Entry #5: Dancing Lessons - February 20
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

11:32 AM--

Hello, Hunky Harry here to help you cope with your dating needs. Call 1-800-DATE-HAR right now to set up an appointment and have a romantic candlelit dinner with the one, the only Boy-Who-Lived.

Just playing, guys. Just playing.

Today, I have decided to give up my precious Saturday freedom (and my precious Saturday homework) and instead come here and record, just for you, the events of the ever-so interesting staff.

There's just one problem.

THEY AREN'T DOING ANYTHING INTERESTING (again). This would be all good and fine if I wasn't wasting my Saturday morning to do this. As of now, most everyone looks slightly hung-over and are sipping coffee solemnly. I think I will start a game with this Sickle I found on the ground.

11:46 AM--

The sickle accidentally landed in Professor Flitwick's coffee cup...and I think he swallowed it.

Oh, well.

11:50--

Hey! Here comes Professor Dumbledore with a strange looking woman. She kind of looks like she could be Professor Trelawney's sister. Except the strange looking woman isn't so wrinkly...

And she doesn't wear those awful glasses.

Dumbledore has just introduced the woman as Helga Von Kookybird.

Weird.

11:56--

HVK: Hello. My name eez Helga Von Kookybird (Note: Pronounced CookieBeard) and I am heeeere to teeeeach to you ze art of ze dahhhnce.

Teachers:

HVK: Now. Get on ze thiiing of groove.

Teachers:

Harry: (laughs riotously)

12:01 PM--

Oh. My. Goodness.

Professor Severus S. Snape...Head of Slytherin House...Potions Master...Generally, cruel and unlikable man...is shaking his "thiiiing of groove" to "Beat It" by Michael Jackson.

Oh. My. Goodness.

I can now say, truly and honestly that I have been scarred for life.

Over in the left corner of the classroom, Professors Lupin and Flitwick are having a break dance competition judged by Professor Sinistra. Professor Vector is dancing on the table. Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore are ballroom dancing.

A little bit of Harry Potter, modern savior of the wizarding world, has died right now.

Oh, sure. I would love to have this dance, Dobby.

1:46 PM--

Man, that Dobby can really bust a move. I'll have to invite him to come clubbing with me sometimes. Well, that was fun.

The staff has completed their dancing training, and are now getting their certificates from Ms. Kookybird. There are also awards. Right now she is calling out "Sexiest Dance Duo." I wonder who that will be.

"Harry Potter and Dobby the House Elf"

Oh, hey. Congratulations to them...

Wait....

That's ME!

This concludes Entry #4 of February the 15.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~