Snape and the Songfic Gone Awry ~ by EmBot

Snape and the Songfic Gone Awry
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I hereby dedicate this story to The Council for the Destruction of Egg Beaters...
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Severus Snape walked into his lavishly decorated kitchen, opened up the refrigerator, and pulled out a can of Diet Pepsi. He wondered how it had gotten there, as he did not partake of such rich sources of aspartame. But, he figured, one time would be okay. He lifted the can tab, and took a light, crisp, and refreshing sip.

We were at a party
His ear lobe fell in the deep
Someone reached in and grabbed it
It was a rock lobster

Snape decided it was high time for him to start doing something more in character. He randomly took 5 points off from Gryffindor, and worked on making himself look creepy. He grabbed his white gloves, for everyone knew that white gloves invoked a sense of terror in all. Suddenly, Albus Dumbledore walked in, and said...

We were at the beach
Everybody had matching towels
Somebody went under a dock
And there they saw a rock
It wasn't a rock
It was a rock lobster

"Hello, Severus."

"Hello, Albus. I was just enjoying a light, crisp, and refreshing Diet Pepsi. Would you care to join me?"

"Aren't those white gloves you are holding, Severus?" Albus' eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Snape hid the gloves up his sleeve, and glared back at Albus. Albus drew out his wand. He walked out the door and up some stairs. Snape followed.

Motion in the ocean
His air hose broke
Lots of trouble
Lots of bubble
He was in a jam
S'in a giant clam

Down, down

Underneath the waves
Mermaids wavin'
Wavin' to mermen
Wavin' sea fans
Sea horses sailin'
Dolphins wailin'

Red snappers snappin'
Clam shells clappin'
Muscles flexin'
Flippers flippin'

Down, down

They turned the corner and came to a portrait of a stout woman. They offered a password and the magical door swung open. They took a while to get through the passage into the room ahead, but when they saw what lay there, they were glad they had made it.

Let's rock!

Boy's in bikinis
Girls in surfboards
Everybody's rockin'
Everybody's fruggin'

Twistin' 'round the fire
Havin' fun
Bakin' potatoes
Bakin' in the sun

Put on your noseguard
Put on the Lifeguard
Pass the tanning butter

Here comes a stingray
There goes a manta-ray
In walked a jelly fish
There goes a dog-fish
Chased by a cat-fish
In flew a sea robin
Watch out for that piranha
There goes a narwhal

"Potter," Snape said menacingly. "The next time you have a Beach Bungalow themed party, I expect to receive an invitation."

Albus was already partying with the other Gryffindors. Snape, however turned on his heel, and began to open the door. Then, however, the crazy little man laughed maniacally and squirted everyone with water from a random hose.

HERE COMES A BIKINI WHALE!

"Take that Gryffindorks!" He looked heavenward. "I told you I'd get you back for that Beach Party stunt, Potter!"

The children and Albus Dumbledore just stared at him. He ran rabidly around the halls wearing white gloves, and, overall, succeeded in having one of the most random songfics of all time.

Snape, we congratulate you.

~FIN~

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