Word Game 2 ~ The Snape Sock Snafu

The Snape Sock Snafu
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Thanks to Brandyllyn for archiving this for me!

Note from Brandyllyn: Some spelling mistakes have been altered by the archiver, all other is as it was given to me.

Sevy's Gal = Periwinkle ;-)

Snapescat = Maroon *sorry...Lime was too visually impairing*

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Professor Dumbledore began the long walk down to the dungeons, his mind focused on the task at hand. He noticed how the corridors slowly grew darker as he grew closer to the dungeons; he found it a little on the unnerving side. As he rounded the corner, a profound silence seemed to emanate from Snape's classroom, unsettling him even further. He cleared his throat and knocked three times on Severus's door and a distinct growl sounded from within, "Enter." He pushed open the door and stepped inside, bracing himself for what he'd been told he would find.

Professor Snape looked up from his papers which he was correcting and greeted his visitor with a curt nod and acknowledging question, "How may I help you, Albus?"

Dumbledore breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that perhaps the rumors were indeed untrue.

"Is there something I can do to help you, Albus?" Severus repeated a little louder.

"Actually, Severus, I wanted to discuss a rumor that has been running rampant among the staff."

Severus sighed and began reciting his denying list of all rumours that were to his knowledge, "No, I'm not a vampire; no I'm not an alcoholic; no I'm not having love affairs with Lucius Malfoy; no I'm not having love affairs with Sirius Black, even though he is dead and I wouldn't be able to have any form of love affairs with him; no, I am not an animagus and no my form is not a bat; no I'm not having love affairs with Remus Lupin, come to think of it, I'm not having any love affairs..." and he was soon cut off.

"Actually, the rumor I'm speaking of states that you have taken to wearing women's clothing under your robes, complete with high heels - Would you stand from your chair, please?"

"I-I-I beg your pardon?!" Severus blubbered, absolutely flabbergasted, "You cannot be serious!"

"Indeed I am - surely you recall that we had a similar incident in your early years as a professor?"

"Albus, I assure you I have never worn women's knickers voluntarily!"

"Then you wouldn't mind standing to prove your case, now would you?"

Grumbling mutinously, he stood up, glaring flaming daggers at his elder. Dumbldore breathed a sigh of relief - until he saw the slightest bit of pink portruding from beneath the bottom of Snape's robes.

"Are you happy now? Do you wish me to do a little twirl?" Snape demanded.

"Severus," Dumbledore cried, shaking his head, "why?"

Completely bewildered, Snape stopped in mid-twirl and demanded, "What are you bawling about?"

"I've told you time and again not to go through my closets!"

Snape's eyebrows flew up to his hair line as he demanded in a strangled cry, "I beg your pardon?!"

"Those are my socks, Severus!"

"What are you on about? These are mine, you senile old bat!"

Dumbledore crossed his arms defiantly and glared at Snape. Snape, not knowing what to do, glared back. "Those are my socks and you darn well know it, Severus!" Dumbledore wailed.

"I BEG YOUR PARDON?! These are my socks, you insufferable old toad!" Snape screeched.

Dumbledore, tears in his misty blue eyes, felt his lower lip tremble in frustration.

Snape saw tears collect in Dumbledore and his brows furrowed in confusion, "A-are you crying?"

"N-no, don't be silly," the old wizard stammered, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, to no avail.

"Then why is your mustache collecting droplets?"

Dumbledore stared at him for a moment, not sure how he was going to regain the upper hand. Snape stared back, expectantly.

Just then, Professor Flitwick walked by, wearing nothing but a g-string and a smile. Completely thrown off course, Snape stood there, blinking stupidly. "Hullo, Severus, Albus," Flitwick greeted them cheerily.

"Uh... Greetings..." Snape forced himself a cough to keep down a nasty comment, "Greetings Filius."

"Why Albus, whatever is the matter?" the tiny professor squeaked, seeing the headmaster's teary eyes.

Snape immediately snapped out of his bewilderment and snarled, "He's accusing me of stealing his socks!"

Flitwick looked at Dumbledore with astonishment, "Headmaster! Is this true?"

Snape answered in rage before Dumbledore, "No! Absolutely not!"

Dumbledore looked angrily at the Potions Master as he spat, "It is true, Filius, and don't you let him sweet talk his way out of this one!"

Snape mouthed wordlessly, flabbergasted. "Sweet talk? Since when do I sweet talk!"

"Come off it Severus, you sweet talk me all the time," Flitwick said primly, his hands on his bare hips.

"I BEG YOUR PARDON?! YOU HAVE SEEMED TO FORGOTTEN THAT I AM THE SICK, EVIL, SADISTIC, MURDEROUS, EX-DEATH EATER, SLYTHERIN THAT I AM; I DO NOT SWEET TALK!"

"Very well, Severus," Dumbledore said with a pout. "Come, Filius, I need to go into Hogsmeade and buy new socks, seeing as how Mr. Evil over here won't own up to taking them."

"I DID NOT STEAL YOUR SOCKS! NOW GET OUT OF MY OFFICE," he shouted, he then realized that he was yelling at his employer and quickly added in the most polite way he could muster, "sir."

Dumbledore sniffed haughtily as he turned and stalked from the room.

Snape flopped back into his chair and grumpily corrected essays.

Flitwick looked from his colleague to his headmaster, then shrugged and followed Dumbledore from the room. Snape glared at Flitwick as he left his office, and when he knew they were out of ear shot, he let out a violent and involuntarily shudder at the remaining mental image of Flitwick in a g-string.

~FIN~

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