Pretty In Pink ~ by Sevy's Gal

Pretty In Pink
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Severus glared at the offending building before him, wanting more than ever to simply turn around and Apparate home.

"I know you want to get back to your potions, but this won't take long, I promise." His gaze shifted from the dress shop to his mother's face and sighed.

"Very well, Mum," he conceded, though he knew if anyone from Hogwarts saw him with his mummy, buying dresses, no less, he'd never live it down. Here he was, a man of nearly forty, a spy for the Order of the Phoenix and head of Slytherin House, and he was reduced to carrying his mother's shopping bags.

They walked inside, Severus keeping an eye out for any of his colleagues or students. He turned the other way when his mother began exclaiming over the design of a particularly hideous beige gown.

"Isn't it darling, dear?" Damn. Now he had to look.

"Wonderful, Mum," he replied dutifully. To his horror, she had several others draped over her shoulder.

"I'm just going to pop into the fitting room to try these on," she announced as she headed in that direction. Good, maybe I can slip outside. He turned to go and ran headlong into Lord Voldemort himself.

"Severus!" he exclaimed, looking about him frantically. "What are you doing in here?"

"My, er- my Mum - she's just gone to try some things," he explained. Voldemort smirked.

"And you've got those same black robes," he said, shaking his head. "Come along, we're going to find something more suitable for you to wear." Severus' heart sank. Sure, the Dark Lord sounded cheery now, but he supposed it was due to the ample amounts of fire whiskey Severus could smell from where he stood. Once he had become sober again, there was no telling how he'd react to knowing one of his supposed minions had seen him inside a muggle dress shop. Thank Merlin he hasn't thought enough to be enraged that I'm involved in anything Muggle, he thought with relief. His relief faded, however, when the Dark Lord directed him to a rack filled with negligees of various shades. Voldemort began looking through them as Severus attempted to back away.

"Now, now," the Dark Lord clucked, his slitted eyes studying Severus with glee. "Mustn't go running off now." He proceeded to pile different bits of clothing into Severus' unwilling hands, all of them various shades of pink.

"My lord -"

"You'll want to try them on, of course," Voldemort said absently, picking up a pair of lace thongs and adding them to the growing stack.

"This is really too -"

"You doubt my will?" the Dark Lord said suddenly, his tone turning icy.

"Of course not," Severus responded immediately. "I just think - wouldn't green be more my color, my lord?" Voldemort smirked again, and Severus repressed a shudder as he thought of the malicious intent behind it.

"No, no. You're surrounded by green at that school . You need something more cheerful. Pink goes with everything."

"Yes, my lord." He was, he knew, defeated.

"There," Voldemort declared, throwing one last negligee on the pile. "Now go and try them on." At least I can escape to the dressing rooms, Severus thought. Perhaps I can sneak out the back -"And then come out so that I can see." Severus' blood froze at these last words.

"You want me to parade around the store in pink underwear?" he asked.

"You swore alligience to me upon the taking of that mark," Voldemort growled. "Now obey my command, or face my wrath." With a heavy heart, Severus retreated to the fitting rooms. Once inside, he sat looking at the offending garments, unable to bring himself to wear them. This is far too ridiculous, he thought bitterly. I will not be ordered into women's clothing. As he stood to leave, however, Voldemort appeared outside his door. "Have you changed yet?" he asked. Severus noted with disgust that his lord had a distinct note of excitement in his voice. This is ludicrous. Nevertheless, he pulled on the thong and one of the more modest negligees before hesitantly opening the door.

"Oh, Severus !" The sound of his name from down the hall, not having been emitted by the man who had suddenly vanished, caused him to look up in alarm. His mother was rushing towards him, clad in the horrid brown dress. "Don't you look darling! " she exclaimed, throwing her arms around his neck. With a grimace, he pulled away.

"You must never speak of this to anyone," he instructed firmly. She nodded, though her eyes shone with happiness. As he went to replace his robes, he stepped out of the negligee, and reached for the thong. You know, he thought, I could actually get used to these..

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